After Marriage

After someone gets married, unfortunately, there is the possibility of separation and divorce. Divorce is becoming more commonly accepted. In 2008, 22% of Americans still believed that divorce is morally wrong. I personally believe that a couple should do everything in their power to work out their problems before even considering marriage. Doing everything possible, doesn't mean trying to talk about it and then deciding that it's not getting everywhere. I mean that both spouses are really attempting to make it work between them and giving their heart to trying to fix their problem. I believe that people are genuinely happier when they work out a problem instead of divorce because often times one of them regrets the divorce two years later. There are certain instances in which I believe divorce is healthier for both parties and children, but there are many instances where it is not healthier. My textbook (Marriage and Family: The Quest for Intimacy Eighth Edition) notes that there are four phases in the process of divorce. The first is recognition. This is when one or both spouses recognize that there is a serious problem. The second is discussion. Discussion is the period during which one or both spouses begin to share the marital problems with others or each other. Third is action. This is when one of the spouses secures a lawyer in order to legally divorce. The last one is postdissolution which begins when both spouses accept the fact that the marriage has ended. The textbook also mentions the six "stations" of divorce or six different experiences that people are likely to have. There is emotional divorce, legal divorce, economic divorce, co-parental divorce, community divorce, and finally psychic divorce. I won't explain what each of these is, but you can do your research and find out more about these. If considering divorce, people need to think about the negative effects of divorce as well. Health problems can occur (physical and emotional) and financial problems.. PLUS... it can dramatically affect the children too. All of these should be taken into consideration, but if possible, I highly recommend trying to work things out. What can seem like a major problem or a problem that can't be fixed, turns out to be solvable if work and time is put into it. If you're married, I wish you a happy marriage! Take time to make your spouse (and children if any) feel loved! Happy Holidays!