Parenting

Being a parent, in my opinion, is the most important job you could have in this life. Having children is such an amazing privilege and blessing. We need to learn to be the best parents we can be. There are so many different parenting techniques. What you need to do is look at the different techniques and decide what you believe are the correct ones and the ones you want to implement. I will talk about some things I learned about parenting and you can form your own opinions about them. I learned that you are supposed to use "I" messages. Those work in any type of relationship because you aren't placing blame on anyone and you're talking about how you feel. The video we watched talks about two techniques called "either/or" and "when/then". The "either/or" is telling your child that they either do the thing you're asking of them or there will be a consequence. The "when/then" is telling your child that they can do something when they do what you want them to do. I have learned in my parenting class and this class that rewards and punishments are not very effective. They are slightly effective for the short-term, but they are not at all effective for the long-term. In fact, they can be the opposite of effective. According to Alfie Kohn, every time you reward a child for something they do, they become less interested in the thing they were rewarded for. Punishments can be done correctly, but almost always aren't. We should learn to be more intentional parents. We need to be more aware of our children and why they do things instead of just focusing on their behavior. We should talk to them more and try to understand them. We need to speak to them on their level instead of talking down to them. We are there  to help them instead of bossing them around. The video I watched talks about Logical Consequences Guidelines for teens. These are the steps: 1. Ask the teen to help decide the consequence. , 2. Put the consequence in the form of a choice: either/or choice OR when/then choice. , 3. Make sure the consequence is logically connected to the misbehavior. , 4. Give choices that you can live with. , 5. Keep your tone of voice firm and calm. , 6. Give the choice on time, then enforce the consequence. , and 7. Expect testing from your teen. They also talk about FLAC. It stands for Feelings, Limits, Alternatives (working with child for a solution), and Consequences. It is important to acknowledge their good efforts and not just point out their mistakes. It is easy to discourage our children. This is done by expecting too little, expecting too much, focusing on mistakes, and overprotecting our children. We can encourage our children by showing confidence, building on strengths, learning to value them, and stimulating their independence. It is important to be the best parents we can be because we will be raising the next generation. How you treat them and raise them has a huge impact on the rest of their life. I am excited to be a parent. I know it will be difficult, but it will be so worth it. The good times will outweigh the challenging. This week's challenge: Be intentional parents! Get to know your children. Work to truly understand them and only make decisions that are beneficial and will actually. teach your children. Happy December!